The truth is,duct-tape sucks,they do. They stick real good in places where they aren't supposed to and act stupid where they are supposed to be good at.For eg,stick it on your mouth for fun and it gives that shit taste ,stick it out in places you are not supposed to(try it out once,if those places are hairy,thats a lesson you will never forget.),they hurt real bad.Coming back to the tape,it was invented in 431 B.C when Julius Ceaser decided to duct-tape Alexander,because Alexander(will be hereby reffered as alex) went and proposed to ceaser's mom.But that wasn't the issue with ceaser,after marrying his mom,one day,Alex walks upto ceaser and says"Dude,who's your daddy now?"Pissed of,ceaser called for a meeting of his generals and commisioned the scientists of the time to invent the duct tape,to keep alex shut.(by the way,ceaser waged war with the gauls so that he could divert the attention of the historians from this personal problem of his.).later,ceaser taped the entire roman senate(except some two guys who had to visit the loo when the procedure was being carried out,later they got a whole roll driven down their you-know-what).thus,the duct-tape was instrumental in ceaser becoming "dictator perpetuo" and alexander ducted perpetually.
During the dark ages,duct-tape was nearly driven to extinction.It was hunted more ruthlessly than the witches(as the people believed witches had control over the evil-spirits by duct taping them).In Vatican,the Pope Antiductus VIX ,who wanted all the heresyers to die,also wanted to banish the duct-tape,as the papal army couldn't find the heresyers as long as they didn't heresy,and with duct-tape on their mouth,most of the would have been philosophers couldn't do a thing.Thus, in 1440A.D.,they day gandhi's greatgrand dad was born(if u don't know,gandhi was a great supporter of duc-tape against violence,walked half naked as a symbol of support for duct-taping and obviously the other half of his body was taped,thats why his "attire" looks astonishingly similar always.),the Pope banished the duct-tape as an instrument of the devil.Later,after about a 134-461 years or so,papal bull was granted to the duct-tape by Pope Ductus(when satan did reveal to him duct-tape was his favourite toy and threatened to duct-tape in places that he didn't wish to) and found its way back into society(some believe this to be the birthday of Stalin and the chinese guy who killed about a million in a square.)
The duct-tape has a very distant cousin,the measuring tape(as is obvious from their surnames),but people like Rishabh gupta like to believe the opposite.(no,rishabh gupta is not related to any guy whose name goes by chandi,with the same surname).Unlike the duct-tape,people,mostly women,love to have it wound it around them often,to measure their usatiable egos.the remaining crap later on....
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